A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

One particular four-year old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talk out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”

On Sunday in a Midwest City,. A young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”

After the service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you, "the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had"

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. "Yes Sir," the boy replied. "And do you say them in the morning too?" the pastor asked "No sir, "the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."

An usher passing a collection plate in a church overheard a small child exclaim: "Daddy, don't pay for me! I'm only four!"

Don 't let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Some people are kind polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

Pastor Matt wakes up to a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning and decides he just has to play golf.

He pretends he's sick and convinces Colin to do the sermon for him that day, then heads out of town to a golf course about 50 miles away so he won't run into anyone from his parish.

On the first tee he sees he has the entire course to himself: Everyone else is in church!

Watching from heaven, Saint Peter turns to the Lord and asks, "are you going to let him get away with this?"

Just then Pastor Matt hits the ball. It heads straight for the pin, drops just short of it, rolls up, and falls into the hole - a 420 yard hole in one!

Astonished, Saint Peter looks at the Lord and asks, "Why in Heaven did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiles and replies, "Who's he going to tell?"

Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy. It stands for 'Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.'"

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, of you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”